How to tell if your roommate isn’t as innocent as they seem

Living with roommates is supposed to be an adventure—a charming mix of shared meals, late-night talks, and someone always being there to help you fish your keys out of the toilet when you drop them (don’t ask). But sometimes, beneath the surface of what seemed like a perfectly normal WG, lurks something far more sinister. Not quite a horror movie villain, but close enough to make you consider moving into a storage unit just for the peace and quiet.

Let’s talk about the warning signs. The little red flags that start as minor annoyances but slowly reveal themselves as symptoms of a truly toxic living situation. You know the type—the roommate who treats the kitchen like their personal science experiment lab, leaving mysterious stains that future archaeologists will one day study. Or the one who “borrows” your things with such frequency that you start to wonder if you ever actually owned that blender to begin with.

Then there’s the Passive-Aggressive Post-It Note Bandit. This creature thrives on leaving little handwritten messages around the apartment that say things like “Whoever didn’t take out the trash—hope your phone charger stops working at 3% battery.” They never say these things to your face, of course. That would require actual confrontation, and they’d much rather let resentment simmer until the entire apartment feels like a pressure cooker about to explode.

And let’s not forget the Ghost Roommate. This elusive figure exists only in theory—you see evidence of their presence (mysterious food disappearances, a shower that’s always wet), but you’ve never actually had a full conversation with them. They float in and out like a specter, leaving behind a trail of unwashed dishes and unanswered texts about the Wi-Fi bill.

But the crown jewel of toxic roommate behavior? The Emotional Blackmailer. This one doesn’t just want to share an apartment—they want to share your soul. They’ll guilt-trip you for not spending every evening listening to their latest existential crisis, or act personally betrayed when you dare to eat dinner in your room instead of joining their impromptu “family meeting” about whose turn it is to buy dish soap. Living with them feels less like a WG and more like being trapped in a low-budget soap opera.

The real tragedy is that these situations often start off so normal. Maybe they seemed a little quirky during the viewing, but hey, who isn’t? It’s only after you’ve signed the lease and discovered their collection of toenail clippings in the bathroom cabinet that you realize you’ve made a terrible mistake.

So what’s the solution? Vigilance. Pay attention to the early signs—the way they react when you ask them to clean up, whether they respect boundaries or treat your possessions like communal property. And most importantly, trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Because while living with roommates can be one of life’s great joys, living with the wrong ones can feel like signing up for a reality show you never wanted to star in.

The good news? These experiences make for great stories later. And hey, if all else fails, there’s always that storage unit idea. At least there, the only passive-aggressive notes you’ll find are the ones you write to yourself.